"Hi, everyone. I'm Mark. Thank you ... for joining me here ... in the den ... at Friendship Shaving."
With these words - or a subtle variation* thereon - does Mark Hutchinson invite you, in an entirely non-creepy way, into his shaving den. A den that, if it could speak, would be telling you - in the same calm, measured, reassuring and just generally pleasant tones as its lone inhabitant - that now, right now as you watch, there is nothing more important in the world than the art of traditional shaving and the sharing of associated knowledge**.
I first started watching Mark Hutchinson's Friendship Shaving YouTube channel after I'd been wet shaving for a good few months. At that point I'd got used to the razzmatazz of US-based shaving channels and their slick production values*** so was struck at once by Mark's wonderfully low-key, calm approach. He's like the UK version of Michael Freedberg. Except Mark has one thing that I'm willing to bet Michael doesn't have. One thing that I bet Mister Freedberg would, literally, kill for.
I'm talking, of course, about the wallpaper adorning the wall of Mark's shaving den, like one of the frescoes on the eastern wall of the Sistine Chapel.
What stories does that fine tapeto**** tell? Did Mark paper the wall himself or did he get in a professional farbisto kaj ornamisto*****? What complicated chain of events lead him to the decision to buy that particular wallpaper? Was it a decision made after days, weeks, possibly months of poring over samples and scouring the internet into the night? Or was it a snap decision, where he sat bolt upright in bed one morning, after some sort of weird dream involving boats and wallpaper paste, and said aloud, 'Yes! Yes! Today I shall decorate my shave den with boating-themed wallpaper!' I don't know about you, but I need to know the answers to these questions. I would suggest, Mark, if you're reading this, that you devote a small bit of one of your upcoming YouTube reviews to telling me - dammit, man, not just me but the whole wide world - about the history behind your wallpaper******.
But you haven't come here to read about how Mark has chosen to decorate his bathroom. No*******. You're here to read about Mark's excellent channel. And it is excellent. From the solid, honest reviews to the Sunday sit-downs, Mark's obvious passion for wet-shaving comes blasting through, like a sort of very comfortable punch in the face with a boxing glove made of shaving cream. His shaving videos are all filmed in real time with no editing as such and it's not as if he hurries his way through them, so the fact that he can keep me hooked watching as he painstakingly removes his facial hair is impressive. He has the same hypnotic qualities about him as, say, Derren Brown hosting a TV special about tradicia razado********. It's down to Mark that I bought what has turned out to be one of my favourite, all-time DE razors in the shape of the FaTip Grande, so thank you, Mark.
If you haven't watched his channel, then you're mad. Go and track him down now. And while you're at it, join the Friendship Shaving Facebook group. It's a wonderful community of and for lovers of traditional wetshaving.
Now. Where's that wallpaper sample book?
* When I say a variation on them, I don't mean that he comes on and says, "Hi, den. I'm everyone. Thank you for joining me here, in Friendship, shaving Mark." No - what I mean is that the welcome is always similar. I'm sure I didn't need to explain that. But I just did.
** Obviously, Mark's shaving den can't speak. Why am I even suggesting what it might sound like if it could? I don't know. Maybe the pandemic has sent me mad.
*** I'm not suggesting that Mark's channel isn't slick. It's just that US-based channels seem to come with loud intro music like a 70s cop show, split-screen graphics, opening and closing credits, commercial breaks, character arcs, stunt performers and car chases. I'm exaggerating, of course.
**** Tapeto. That's wallpaper in Esperanto. For those of you unfamiliar with the language.
***** That's Esperanto for painter and decorator. I'm just being silly now.
****** Now, you might think I'm taking the mickey here, but I'm not. I can't take my eyes off the wallpaper, sometimes to the point where I'm not paying attention to the review and have to rewind.
******* Or, maybe, yes. In which case, I'm glad to have been of service.
******** Tradicia razado. Esperanto for traditional shaving. For those of you not paying attention in Esperanto 101.